1. If you sneak off for a quick shower while the baby is sleeping, he/she will start crying, most likely as soon as you have stepped into the shower, before you have had the chance to get clean.
2. Fussy babies generally stop being fussy right before Daddy gets home. Conversely, babies that are in a good mood and doing fun tricks immediately stop doing so right before Daddy gets home. I think this is similar to the rule that if there is something wrong with your car, you will not be able to replicate the issue when you take it in to the repair shop to get checked out.
3. If you get out a new burp cloth, the baby will spit up all over it at the next feeding, requiring you to put it in the laundry and get out a new one. The same is true if you decide to be
4. Relatedly, as soon as you change a diaper, the baby will immediately fill it. If you're really lucky, the baby will be proactive and start to fill said diaper while you are putting it on. If you're really, really lucky, the diaper won't be totally on yet, so pee and/or poop will end up where it doesn't belong (including on your hands).
5. If you have pets, they will start begging and whining to be fed as soon as you sit down to nurse and can do absolutely nothing about it. Not understanding that you are tied up, they will proceed to look at you impatiently as if to say, "Um, mom? You're just sitting there on the couch... can you really not get off your lazy butt and feed us?"
6. On the days that the baby sleeps the most, your to do list will be the longest, so sleeping while the baby sleeps will not be possible. If you decide to toss the to do list out the window and take a nap anyway, the baby will wake up.
7. If you complain on Facebook that your baby is particularly high maintenance/fussy, any time someone comes over in the near future (out of pity in most cases), the baby will make a liar out of you and behave perfectly (except between the hours of 10 pm-7 am, during which time obviously no one would be visiting).
8. And to end on a positive note, as soon as you are fed up and ready to throw in the towel with the whole parenting thing (side note: that isn't actually allowed, apparently), the baby will do something so unbelievably cute that you will forget you were ever frustrated in the first place.
Have you experienced parents/babysitters learned any other inevitable truths that you'd like to share?