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Monday, September 17, 2012

7 weeks and 6 days down, a seeming eternity to go!

Greetings, readers!

I hope you realized in the last post when I said "disjointed updates," that I meant "very infrequent updates." I'm sorry! I really thought I was going to be a better pregnancy blogger than this, but I also really thought that I wouldn't spend every waking (and sleeping) second obsessing about whether or not everything is still going well.

I know what you're thinking: "GET A GRIP!" And I am telling myself the same thing about 800 times a day, but apparently it hasn't registered yet.

I had an appointment last Tuesday at 7 weeks exactly, and everything is still looking good! However, if you'll recall, 7 weeks means that I graduate to just one appointment per week. This is GOOD news, but the 9 days between my last appointment and my next appointment (this Thursday) might as well be 9 million years.

And yes, I realize that normal fertile people often haven't had a single appointment by this point, but when you are used to being monitored multiple times per week, you come to rely on those appointments for reassurance. So I suppose this is lesson #1 in parenthood about walking in faith and trusting that God has everything under control. You would think 3 years of infertility (or 29.5 years of life) would have taught me that, but you'd be wrong :)

Brian, on the other hand, is on the opposite end of the spectrum, which is not unusual in our marriage! I'm fairly certain that the thought that something could still go wrong flew out the window the moment he saw and heard that perfect little heartbeat. And although sometimes his eternal optimism really frustrates me, I am admittedly reassured by his confidence, so I'm thankful for that.

In the meantime, my biggest struggle is equating how well the pregnancy is progressing with how I am feeling. If I feel crappy and uncomfortable, then I assume that everything is perfect. If I feel generally fine, then I assume things have taken a turn for the worst.

So on that note, two things:
1. Will you PLEASE pray for me to have some peace of mind? PLEASE??
2. Will those of you that have already conquered pregnancy please reassure me that it is normal for my symptoms to come and go?

I think that's it for now. I promise to give an update after the next ultrasound, and if you are REALLY lucky, I might even post a picture of our little blob, so stay tuned!


Katy said...

Just remember, statistics are on your side! And, if I remember correctly, all of my symptoms randomly dissapeared one day. I went from not eating anything but cheese and crackers, to eating regular meals overnight. And my boys look pretty safe and healthy to me :) But it is understandable to be worried, any pregnant lady or person that has had a baby would be lying if they said they didn't worry.

The Bird said...

Oh, Amanda! What you are feeling is completely normal! The worrying stinks, though, doesn't it? And, yes, symptoms definitely come and go:) I have been told by several people (in the medical field and also from people not in the medical field) that once you hear that healthy heartbeat, you can feel confident that your little one is going to be just fine! Praying for some peace of mind for you! I hope Brian's outlook rubs off on you; my husband was the same way and he was right...everything is fine! :)

the blogivers said...

Been praying that you would finally feel free to just be excited, but apparently I haven't been praying hard enough, so I'll get on it.

Courtney Squillante said...

You are TOTALLY normal to panic about everything- normal to have symptoms come and go- and normal to think about it all the time. You are acting exactly like you will once the baby is here- worrying incessantly! Way to go- you are a parent! :)

Allena said...

The good news is you are totally normal. The bad news is it never stops! You think 'once I get out of the first trimester...' and then you are and then you are feeling the baby move but then you realize you haven't felt the baby in awhile, so of course something is wrong. Then you have a baby and it just gets worse. HAHA! The joys of motherhood! Welcome to the club!!

Gillian said...

I know so many people have already assured you that what you are feeling is normal, so take heart in that... you are completely normal!! And from a statistical standpoint, now that you've heard the heartbeat more than once, you're chances of something going wrong continue to decline. Some people are NEVER sick and never have symptoms and go on to have very healthy babies. So don't worry about the lack of symptoms from day to day. But, welcome to motherhood... where worrying is your new best friend :)

hollie marie said...

I told myself I would feel a little more reassured once I felt my baby moving around.... all the uncertainty of that first trimester stuff is completely nerve-wracking! I eventually came to realize that this perpetual concern for my little goober will probably be deeply rooted in my mind long after he/she enters this world! And as for symptoms, I was free of yuck from week 4-7, miserable 8-10, had another free week or two and then miserable again until 13 weeks and 4 days when all the yuck magically disappeared. Crazy pregnancy.

Erika said...

Oh, infertility...the gift that keeps on giving!!

Brittany Sciba said...

What you are feeling is SO normal! I let many things (mainly fear) get in the way of my excitement and joy until late in my pregnancy and I always get sad when I think about it! Try your hardest to just be in the moment! You might be one of the lucky ones that doesn't have many symptoms! Honestly, I really didn't feel pregnant most of the time and had to remind myself that I was (especially after a really busy day when I didn't have time to think)! :) When I did feel nausea (which I think was from the metformin anyway), it would be for five minutes and then I wouldn't feel anything for days. Everyone is just different! Sorry for the super long comment! I love you and Baby J!! :) Praying for peace of mind!

Brittany {Coleman Chronicles} said...

Praying for peace of mind! Everyone else has already told you how normal it is to worry, but I'll join them! It feels like you can't win some days - you feel horribly sick and want to crawl in a hole, but then when you feel good you can't enjoy it b/c it makes you worry. I'd venture to say just about everyone who has ever been pregnant experienced the same emotions! I wish I could say the worrying would go away, but it's just replaced with something else to worry about! Motherhood is truly the ultimate exercise of faith!

Bren said...

Hooray for 8 weeks tomorrow! You are doing great! Praying for God's peace to calm your heart and for Brian's optimism to rub off on you. I totally understand where all the worry comes from. It just means you're going to be an awesome mom!

All Boxed Up said...

Your feelings are absolutely normal. I remember the panick I would feel between appointments before I could feel Charles. It seemed like an eternity between 4 week appointments. I am so happy for you.

Natasha said...

I think it is normal to feel like you are on a roller coaster and to worry. Pregnancy (or expecting a baby through adoption) is all about preparing us to become parents so welcome aboard.

I also think that once you know what a miracle pregnancy is (especially through miscarriage or infertility) it is also normal to worry a lot, especially early on when you're not getting a lot of confirmation from the baby (or in your case babies!!!) that he/she is actually in there.

Some days I felt so ill I could barley move and then the next day I'd feel fine and automatically stress because I wasn't having symptoms. It was insane.

So I don't know if I've been reassuring or just confirmed that there are a lot of worriers out there despite the fact that we usually can't do much about it and don't usually have anything to worry about in the first place.

Praying for peace of mind for you so you can find more and more enjoyment in this experience.