Good news- I have officially survived two days of shots! Saturday was admittedly a little rough just because we were getting used to a different type of injection AND dealing with administering two instead of one. Thankfully, Brian is a great nurse so the pain (and consequently the pouting) was minimal, and perhaps even more thankfully, we figured out that we can actually mix the two meds together into ONE shot instead of two- hooray!
I am happy to report that I have kept a relatively positive outlook in these beginning stages of our IVF process, and have even had a couple of people in the last week or so ask me how I remain so positive even 2.5 years into this whole ordeal. (Those of you who know me well are probably laughing out loud right now because I am typically very much your glass-not-just-half-but-completely-empty kind of girl!)
However, on Friday I seemed to hit a little bump in the road and quickly spiraled back into an all too familiar pit of despair. There were tears and more than a few pity parties hosted by yours truly. I quickly grew frustrated with myself because up until that point, I was NOT giving in to the temptation to worry or doubt, and all of a sudden, within a matter of hours, I had convinced myself that we had no reason to believe this cycle would work because HELLO, none of the other million attempts had worked either.
And it was then that I was reminded of a passage that Brian had e-mailed to me literally just the day before:
"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland." (Isaiah 43:18-19)
Past = 2.5 years of disappointment
Wasteland = my uterus
New thing = hopefully a baby (or two)
It is tough for me to remember, but I have to constantly remind myself NOT to live in the past, because God is not limited by our former OR our current circumstances. A friend recently shared Romans 15:13 with me along with a quote from a book she is reading that says the same thing:
"Hope always points to the future. This title of God assures us that in Him our future can always be dramatically different from our past."
I was so encouraged by that and hope you are too, because I know I'm not the only one who is hoping for a future that looks NOTHING like the past.
And on a semi-related note, I have another story I want to share but I feel like this is already getting a little lengthy, so I'll save that for my next post.
Until next time, my friends!