How I envisioned Mother’s Day 2012 would start: I would wake up early before church and take a pregnancy test, and then surprise Brian with the (obviously positive) results.
How Mother’s Day 2012 actually started: Brian got up and got ready for church while I laid in bed crying with cramps and a heating pad.
To say that life does not always go as planned would be a major understatement at this point.
To backtrack a little, we had IUI #1 on Monday, April 30, and IUI #2 on Tuesday, May 1. They both went as well as possible with no problems or complications. We spent the next 1.5 weeks waiting, praying, hoping… and (on my part) stressing. I actually did pretty well during the day because I was distracted with work or other plans. But when I would get in bed at night, my brain would turn on and the “what if” game would commence.
What if I didn’t actually ovulate? What if I did ovulate but we didn’t get a fertilized egg? What if we did get a fertilized egg but it doesn’t implant? What if it implants but then I miscarry? You know, just the standard downward spiral into “what if we can never have children and we die lonely and miserable?”
This explains why I purchased a night guard 4 days after IUI #2 to help with jaw-clenching. Because if the bloating and weight gain didn’t make me unattractive enough during the two week wait (and I will not even get started on the side effects of the progesterone supplements), then a mouth full of plastic was sure to do the trick.
Nonetheless, we pressed on as we got closer and closer to the end date of the waiting process: Tuesday, May 15. That was the date that I was scheduled to go in for a blood test, and I spent the better part of every free minute leading up to that debating in my head whether or not I wanted to take a home pregnancy test in advance.
In the meantime, just as I have prayed from the very start of this whole process, I asked God to be very clear with me. I didn’t want to get to the point of taking a pregnancy test if it was going to be negative, and I certainly didn’t want to get all the way to the point of having the blood test done if it was going to be negative. I have always been of the mindset that bad news is hard enough without having to get your hopes up first. I wasn’t quite sure how God would work around this one, however, because I was under the impression that the progesterone supplements would prevent my period from starting either way.
Well surprise, surprise—(a) I was wrong, and (b) God most definitely had a way of “working around” that so-called issue, because I did indeed start on Saturday. Just another reminder to be careful what you pray for :)
As luck would have it, I had to go straight to the Museum for my volunteer shift, so instead of wallowing at home on the couch in my misery, I got to talk to painfully adorable children and their parents (pregnant moms included) about dinosaurs for 3 hours. Thankfully, I did not melt down and on the few occasions that I did tear up, no one noticed.
Once I was in the car, however, all bets were off and the melting down commenced. The next 1.5 days (including how I survived Mother’s Day) deserve a separate post, so stay tuned.