So guess what. Apparently life goes on even when it feels like yours has been momentarily (for the millionth time) put on pause. The good news is that this prevents me from holing myself up in the house and eating my weight in chocolate each time we find out we aren't pregnant. (But if we're being honest, that becomes more and more tempting each time it happens.)
Anyway, here are a few updates/tidbits for you:
1. We had our follow-up consultation with Dr. H on Wednesday. He said that our last IUI cycle looked "perfect on paper," and that he couldn't pinpoint anything that had gone wrong. Unfortunately, when the success rate for a treatment is 30%, that means that there is a 70% chance that it won't work, and as the odds would suggest, we fell into the 70% rather than the 30% this time.
He is still confident that we WILL get pregnant, but just says it's a matter of how we'll get there. Although I desperately wanted him to tell us what to do next, he has left the ball in our court. We can either give another IUI a try, or move onto IVF. In honor of keeping it real, here are a few very basic statistics for you:
Estimated success rate: 30%
Estimated cost: $4,000
Estimated success rate: 75%
Estimated cost: $14,000
I guess it shouldn't be so surprising that a 45% increase in the success rate should come with such a high price tag, but still. Wow.
He put me on birth control and said that if we want to try to do an IUI again, then I can start after a week. If we want to do IVF, I can start after two weeks.
So basically we were given a week (although realistically we can take as long as we want) to come up with a decision. There are a lot of factors to consider other than just the statistics/costs, so we are discussing and more importantly praying for God's discernment in what to do next. Feel free to weigh in (unless you are going to tell me to just relax or go ahead and adopt, that is).
2. My birthday is in 10 short days! Current items on my (fictional) wish list:
- gift cards to Houston Fertility Institute, Conception Pharmacy, or Mirvana Acupuncture (Kidding) (Sort of)
- all expenses paid vacation for our 5th anniversary
- a baby
For what it's worth, I write pretty legit thank you notes, so keep that in mind...
3. Speaking of birthday gifts, my pal, Chrissy, made me a pretty sweet mix cd as an early birthday gift, and there is one song in particular that I have been listening to on repeat just like I used to do with "Push" when I got the Matchbox 20 cd the summer after 8th grade. Unlike "Push," however, this song deals with desperation in a slightly more constructive manner.
The song is "Without You" by Shane and Shane. I have had bad luck with embedding links recently, so hopefully it will work if you just click here. Thanks, Chrissy, for introducing me to this one!
Here I am, calling out 'Father'
Can you hear me? Can you hear me?
I don't want to go without You
Here I am, can You talk a little louder?
So I can hear you, I want to hear You,
I don't want to move without You
4. Lastly, Allison sent me a pair of earrings in the mail earlier this week that she had won in a blog giveaway to cheer me up. I cried. There isn't much point to this story other than to (a) remind you how thoughtful my sissy is, and (b) illustrate how emotionally unstable I have become.