Good thing I'm such a rule-follower

So I’m pretty sure I had my favorite acupuncturist appointment ever this week. I know what you’re thinking, and no, she didn’t substitute Amy Grant’s “Home for Christmas” album as the background music for my session (although now that I think of it, that would be pretty amazing…). But rather, it was the conversation we had before needle time that really made my day.

First of all, when she was talking to me about how acupuncture helps out with PCOS, she compared my ovaries to a roller coaster ride at Disney World. No lie. She basically said that my ovaries are like a ride that keeps filling up with people—rather than one group getting off and a new group of riders getting on, people just keep getting on the ride until it’s so packed that it can’t function properly and stalls out. And even if someone wanted to get off, they’re too smushed by all of the other people, so they can’t. And if and when they finally do, they’re not in great shape anymore because they have been smashed up against all of the nasty sweaty people on the ride.

Not sure if you followed that or not, but what’s important is that (a) I understood exactly what she meant, (b) it was much more helpful than when my fertility specialist would pull out his pen and a piece of scratch paper and try to freehand a drawing of the female reproductive system, and (c) it made me laugh.

After that, she gave me instructions for the remainder of my cycle that are undoubtedly my favorite to date :
1. No cold food or drinks
2. Specifically, no salad
3. No exercise
4. Specifically, no ab exercises

Um, I think I can handle that. I did panic a little at the “no exercise” command because I feel a lot better when I can get in at least some type of exercise (especially when I have been consuming my weight in Christmas cookies), but she said that walking was fine. So tell me- how many times in your life has your healthcare provider told you to avoid eating salad and limit your exercise?

Don’t worry—this is only for the duration of this cycle, so I’m not going to adapt these as my new life rules or anything. I will say, however, that I highly prefer these guidelines to the elimination of my beloved Raisin Bran from my diet. Have I mentioned that Brian has chosen Raisin Bran as his cereal choice for the past couple of weeks? This means that every morning when I pull out the box of Total, I have to reach right past the neighboring box of Raisin Bran to do so. Life can be so cruel sometimes…