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Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Never say never

Today during my lunch break, I had a needle put into my skull. As I mentioned in a recent post, I never in a million years would have thought I would willingly subject myself to such "torture," let alone be enthusiastic about doing so. But as I also mentioned, that is just one item on what has become a long list of things that I have done as a result of infertility that I never thought I would (or could) do.

Fittingly, my fellow pastor's wife and good pal, Camille, is currently hosting a BlogShare contest based on the topic: "Things I never thought I would do/say and why I changed my mind." Never one to turn down a challenge, I was eager to enter (and you should, too, if you don't mind being beaten, that is:), but even more so once I saw the chosen topic.

I know it's hard to fathom, but there was once a time when I did not think about (let alone blog about) my reproductive system. And at that time, I am fairly sure that I was smug enough to believe infertility could never happen to me. After all, my mom birthed 4 children (including a naturally occurring set of identical twins, thankyouverymuch), and my older sister also birthed 4 children, so surely genetics would grant me the same ease with getting pregnant.

Two years and one very empty uterus later, I want to dropkick that smug girl in the face. Nonetheless, I do find amusement in thinking about the things I swore I would never do/say/think in my journey (which, at the time, I anticipated would last approximately 1 month) to get pregnant. And because everyone (me) loves a good list, I am now going to share that list with you:

(Oh, and in case it isn't obvious, the "why I changed my mind" part is because we decided it was time to replace our imaginary children with real ones.)

1. Become a member of a website called

2. ... and visit that website multiple times daily.

3. Take my temperature every.single.morning and actually make the effort to write it down.

4. Name one of my follicles and pray for it by name (first, middle, and last).

5. And for that matter, even know what a follicle was.

6. E-mail/go to coffee with/eat dinner with/call/text message/become best friends with total and complete strangers solely (at least initially) because of our mutual inability to procreate.

7. Endure dozens of ultrasounds without ever getting to see a tiny heartbeat on the screen.

8. Pee on a stick in the bathrooms of all of Seattle's major tourist attractions.

9. Allow a stranger to poke me with needles... twice weekly.

10. Boldly inform a male co-worker (when asked why I was doing acupuncture) that I was hoping to increase the blood-flow to my uterus. (Sorry- you asked!)

11. Have my dad tell me he has a hard time reading my blog because of how many references I make to baby-making attempts and, worse, periods.

12. Become insanely jealous of the girls on 16 and Pregnant and righteously indignant towards the ones on I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant (I mean, SERIOUSLY).

13. Go through 3 bottles of prenatal vitamins (240-count) without ever getting past the "prenatal" phase.

14. Remember my friends' pregnancy announcements based on where I cried when I heard the news.

15. Have a mysterious looking package wrapped in a Kroger bag delivered to my desk before work by a male co-worker (do you sense a theme here?), only to find out that it was a copy of The Infertility Cure, generously loaned to me by his daughter-in-law. (Yes, this really happened.)

So there you have it, friends. This list could go on for days (who knows? I might even do a part 2 one day if you're lucky), but unfortunately for this long-winded blogger, the contest has a word limit. And although I'm currently 89 words short of that limit, I'd like to give myself a nice margin of error in case my word counter was incorrect.

Thanks for reading, and don't forget to go enter the contest yourself!


Brittnie said...

This post made me LOL and nod my head in agreement with some of the things you listed here. I should make a list like this too. :)

The Blogivers said...

I almost stopped reading after the first sentence.

Anonymous said...

As always, Amanda, you bring both humor and depth to your comments. I love reading your blog, but mostly I love you - You are an amazing woman whom I am blessed to know! Who else makes us laugh and cry and laugh again - all in sheer honesty!

Leah said...

That acupuncture is INTENSE! I am excited for you about that.

I love your list.

Erika said...

I said I would never become BFFs with strangers who attended Big 12 schools, live on the other side of the country, and have imaginary children. And ESPECIALLY with people who have needles poked in themselves for fun.

What has my life come to now??

CindyLara said...

You are so courageous! I know very few people willing to try acupuncture, especially so young!

Heather D. said...

Sped home to read all about Sebastian! (;