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Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Allison's 31-Day Challenge

I recently received the following from my beloved womb-mate:

Dear Sis,

I know 2010 will not go down as your favorite year of all time, and you are probably ready for it to just be over at this point. So in order to help you enjoy this last month and the holiday season, I have a 31 day challenge for you: each day of this month, I want you to blog about one thing for which you are thankful (my grammar skillz could be one of them, for example). Feel free to keep it as short and sweet as you wish. Just make sure you post every day! And no falling behind - you know what a nag I can be and you don't want me on your case!

Good luck!



I resisted at first, thinking that it would be too repetitive and/or boring to read. But when I remembered that I typically cover such riveting topics as: my most recent trip to the hair salon, what irritates me the most about my pharmacy, and what I ate for my morning snack, I realized that my standards really aren't that high to begin with, so why raise the bar now?

So, Sis, I accept your challenge. Let the games begin... starting tomorrow.

Friday, November 19, 2010

But once again, I say amen and it's still raining

You know what's fun? Finding out the week before Thanksgiving that you aren't pregnant... again. Because it prevents you from having to keep thinking of some fun and exciting way to tell your whole family the good news. And because it forces you to be more creative when coming up with all the things you thank God for- like seat heaters, and pay checks, and a husband who doesn't mind you getting mascara on his shirt when you cry.

You see, I was sort of in denial about the whole thing when Brian came home last night with dinner. He came rushing into the house informing me that my baked potato soup had spilled in the car, and rushed back out to clean it up. When he finished, he came in and apologized that half of my soup was gone. I told him it was really okay, and then started to cry.

Under normal circumstances, Brian probably wouldn't think it was really all that weird that I was crying over a spilled bowl of soup. But we haven't been living under "normal circumstances" for what seems like an eternity, so he instantly knew what was wrong.

Anyway, the "good news" is that I didn't waste any pregnancy tests. The other "good news" is that my body did what it was supposed to again. The other "good news" is that for once, my cycle was a normal length. (I put "good news" in quotations because right now, it really seems like a crummy excuse for good news, but I really am still thankful.)

The "bad news" is that this cycle cost upwards of $800. The other "bad news" is that I got my hopes up (again) and felt really stupid (again) when I realized this was not going to be the right time (again). Oh, and the other "bad news" is that we still aren't pregnant.

I am really trying extra hard not to spiral into another temporary pit of despair. And by "really trying extra hard," I mean to say that I will only be able to do it by the grace of God, because really and truly, all I want to do right now is hide under the bed and cry until we actually are pregnant.

Anyway, I apologize for a depressing Friday morning post... I get to spend some time with my mom and sisters this weekend, so hopefully that will be a good distraction. My mom has a special gift for retail therapy, so maybe I will benefit from that :)

I think that Brian and I have decided to take the next month "off"- although any of you who have ever gone through something like this know that it will be very difficult for my brain to follow suit!

My sissy made me a great cd recently with some encouraging songs on it (I asked her why it was so upbeat (as a joke) and she informed me that she didn't have enough Rage Against the Machine on her itunes), and my favorite at the moment is "Praise You in This Storm." If you haven't listened to it before, go check it out!

Wednesday, November 17, 2010


So we attended an event this weekend put on by my grandparents’ church called Taste of Sugar Land. It’s highly likely that I have blogged about this before, but I am feeling much too lazy to go look it up and reference it.

Regardless, this was the first year that Brian was able to join us, and I think it is safe to say that he will be going back next year. Why, you ask? Because basically the event works like this: 20+ restaurants in the area bring in samples of their food, and then you walk around and eat all the food. The end. So basically, it’s what our wedding would have been like if Brian had been the one planning it.

Anyway, one of the Chinese restaurants just so happened to be serving (among other things that I had no interest in eating) fortune cookies, so of course I ate one (I’m thinking about coming out with a carb-only diet). And here is where I need to clarify that I don’t actually believe there is any truth to fortune cookies or fortune-telling for that matter, just for the record. I did, however, find the fortune from my cookie worthy of being shared. It said:

“Your everlasting patience will be rewarded sooner or later.”

I think everyone knows where my brain immediately went upon reading this, but I quickly had to remind myself that whether or not we get pregnant has nothing to do with a fortune cookie. But seriously, how cruel of this fortune cookie to play games with me like that!

Apparently this is not where my loving husband’s mind immediately went, however, because as soon as he read it, he started laughing. I was puzzled… until he pointed at the second and third words in the sentence and continued to laugh. Apparently he was shocked to see “everlasting patience” linked with me in any way, shape, or form. I’m really not sure what gives him that impression, although it could very well have something to do with the fact that he is married to me and has known me for 7 years.

Of course, in typical fortune cookie fashion, it had to be extra vague so that it could apply to anyone reading it, so I thought it was a nice touch that they threw “sooner or later” in there as a caveat. Very specific.

And while we’re on the topic of things that confuse me, can I just complain about my pharmacy for a second? (Oh no, here we go again…)

I called in a refill on two prescriptions this morning at 11 am and scheduled pick-up for 1 pm. I called at 1 pm to make sure they would be ready, and sure enough, they weren’t. I found out that Brian wasn’t going to go pick them up until closer to 3 pm, so I called again at 3 pm to see if they were ready. According to the automatic phone system, the prescriptions still weren’t ready, so I pressed the button to speak with a pharmacy representative.

First of all, he answered the phone with “Hello.” And not even a friendly “hello.” So just to clarify (and admittedly to make him feel foolish for not being more professional), I said, “Um, is this the pharmacy department?” He (still unpleasantly) responded affirmatively. I then informed him that I had called my prescription in a few hours before and was informed by the computer lady’s voice that they still weren’t ready for pick-up.

He interrupted me mid-sentence to ask my last name (as if he was exhausted from our thus far overly lengthy conversation) and after I gave it to him, he said, “They’re both ready.” I responded with, “Oh ok, great! Can you tell me what the total will be?” He responded, “Uh, well one of them is only a partial, so it will be $18.” I asked, “Well, how much of a partial?” He said, “5 days’ worth.” Annoyed at this point, I said, “5 days’ worth of a 30-day prescription? I thought you said it was ready for pick-up!” He responded, “Well, we didn't have it in stock. We just have to call it in and it will be ready tomorrow at some point.” Awesome. Very helpful. Remind me to nominate you for Most Helpful Customer Service Representative of the Year.

First of all (how often do my rants start this way?), please don’t tell me that my order is ready for pick-up if it is actually only 1/6 complete. Secondly, if you didn’t have the medicine in stock and were going to have to order it for the next day (well after the scheduled same-day 1 pm pick-up), wouldn’t you think to maybe call me and tell me this??

I am not normally one to complain when I get poor customer service (ok, so I have once or twice to HEB and Dairy Queen), but I am tempted. Maybe if I’m lucky, I’ll get another $50 gift card out of the deal. Because where else would a girl rather have a $50 gift card to than Walgreens, right?

Anyway, here’s to hoping that the prescriptions are ready to be picked up tomorrow so that you all don't have to read a sequel to this dumb post. And because believe it or not, my "everlasting patience" doesn't really last that long.

Friday, November 12, 2010

I promise I have more self-control than this post would imply.

Ok so part of the reason I haven't been blogging as often lately is because I have been very busy at work, and generally on my lunch break (when I used to do a lot of blogging), all I want to do is turn my brain off and stare blankly at facebook while I eat my turkey sandwich.

I am actually really thankful to be so busy, because in my opinion, being overly busy at work is a thousand times better than being overly bored. However, occasionally I do get a tad on the overwhelmed side (who? me?). Normally my response to being overwhelmed and frustrated would be to cry, but given that my co-workers have probably recently grown very tired of watching me cry at my desk after returning from doctor's appointments, I try my best to avoid that when possible.

So what's the next best alternative to crying when dealing with your feelings? The correct answer would be prayer. In fact, that should be the first alternative. But let's pretend for a moment that I am ignorant of that and go with what most of you females probably agree would be the next best alternative- eat. Preferably candy.

Our boss has a yearly tradition of over-purchasing Halloween candy and then bringing all of the leftovers for us to enjoy. Unfortunately for me, the basket of candy is approximately 5 feet away from my desk. (Who am I kidding- even when it was on the other side of the department, I still frequently visited it.)

So lately if I have been feeling a little anxious, I head over to the candy basket and indulge in a tootsie roll, or a mini Snickers, or something else small and relatively harmless. Yesterday morning, however, I was feeling particularly fragile after a long meeting when my supervisor just so happened to offer me a a Chick-fil-a chicken biscuit.

If you have never had a chicken biscuit, it is basically a chicken strip wrapped in a biscuit. And it is delicious. But not exactly what I would refer to as a healthy morning snack.

Did I feel guilty after scarfing down the entire thing and then eating the crumbs? A little. But for that moment, I could relate to all those people out there that eat whatever they want without giving it an ounce of worry - aka: my husband. What must it be like to see something, think to yourself, "that sounds good- I'll have that," and then just eat it? Whenever you want? Without then stressing about how hard you'll have to work out to make up for it or worrying about what the scale will tell you the next day?

Don't worry- I'm not really going to start eating my feelings as a method of coping with stress, but I will say that it sure was a nice solution at the time!

Anyway, after I left work (we have half days on Friday and I finish at 11:30 am), I went to get my tri-annual haircut (yes, I only get my hair cut three times a year). I had made an appointment for just a cut and not a blow dry, because as I've mentioned before, I think that charging $15 for blow drying hair is highway robbery.

Well consider me robbed on the side of road because when she grabbed the blow dryer (apparently they didn't clarify that I just wanted a cut on my appointment card), I couldn't resist. I was torn between doing what I knew I should do (stop her from doing it and save the money) and what I wanted to do (basically let someone continue playing with my hair for 10 more minutes).

But ultimately, I kept my mouth shut and let her do her thing. And then, while she was blow drying my hair, one of the other stylists walked up to mine and this happened:

Random other stylist: How much did it cost you when you got that mole removed?

My stylist: Not very much- it was covered by insurance.

Random other stylist: Well where did you get it done? Because I think I want to get this one removed (points at one on her face).

My stylist (turns off the blow dryer to continue conversation): Well my friend's husband did it- he's a dermatologist. I got this other one (points to a spot on her face) done by my plastic surgeon, and it really wasn't very expensive at all!

Random other stylist: Ok, well I'm totally going to get the number from you, because I need to get this one taken care of.

Ok, random other stylist, was that really so urgent that you had to interrupt my stylist while she was with a client to have that conversation? And also, is that really the kind of conversation that you want to have publicly, and very loudly while yelling over the blow dryer? And lastly, might I remind you both that I was suckered into paying $15 extra for this and I really would prefer my blow dry experience not be ruined by a conversation about your MOLES? Just throwing that out there.

Anyway, in the end, it was a good thing I let her dry and style my hair as well, because we ended up hitting up some pretty fancy high-class establishments that afternoon - Home Depot, Target, and Wal-mart. Fortunately we at least ran into Shannon, my wonderful sissy-in-law, at Target, so someone other than Brian and the Home Depot cashier that looked a lot like the harmonica player from Blues Traveler (before he lost all that weight) got to see me with my freshly styled hair.

Ok so that's all for this Saturday morning. I'm off to enjoy this cold and rainy day by doing a little shopping, because a certain $50 gift card just so happened to arrive in the mail yesterday with my name on it!

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Who ever said overcoming infertility wasn't romantic? Besides me, that is.

Check me out—it only took me 6 days to come up with a new blog after writing the last one! But as a disclaimer, I should inform you that this probably won’t be all that exciting because my life has not been terribly eventful since I last blogged.

We had another wedding this weekend—my wonderful friend, Beth, got married, so that’s how we spent most of our weekend. I was in the House Party, and not only did I get to do a reading during the ceremony, but Beth also put me to work doing various other tasks throughout the day. She claims that she assigned me tasks because she knows that I’m reliable and will get them done, but I think the real reason she gave me a to do list is because she knows very well that I have no problem bossing people around :)

Beth and Richard are actually currently on their honeymoon at the same resort where Brian and I went on ours, so I am trying really hard to be a good friend and be happy for them rather than die of jealousy as I spend my week in a cubicle with padded walls!

By the way, the other girl in Beth’s House party found this website and told me about it (thanks, Courtney!), and I knew I had to pass it along to all of you. It’s called 999 Reasons to Laugh at Infertility, and while you might not be able to relate, I definitely think you will get a laugh out of it. All of the reasons are pretty funny, but one of the most recent (“Wouldn’t it be great to be pregnant at the SAME time!”) is particularly amusing. This one about possible fertility book titles will also give you a good laugh. It’s nice to find someone that (a) can relate to what I’m going through and (b) have a sense of humor about it at the same time.

Speaking of fertility, Brian got to give me a shot on Sunday. I know, totally awesome and romantic, right? He was a total champ and acted like he gives people injections on a regular basis… and unless he is secretly a male nurse on the side, then that is most definitely not the case.

When the nurse gave me (us) the prescription, she started to give me instructions and I just pointed straight to Brian, knowing full well that he would be in charge of the whole ordeal. She then said that the injection would need to go into the fatty tissue in my stomach. Perfect! Sounds like this shot was made for me! :)

So when the time came on Sunday morning to actually get the shot, I behaved as any mature 27-year-old would by covering my eyes and yelling, “I don’t want to see it!! Tell me when it’s over! Wait, I don’t want you to do it! Don’t do it!” I’m sure that really helped Brian to keep his cool.

Thankfully, it really didn’t hurt. But when it was finished, I informed Brian that he needed to put a bandaid over the spot immediately. He laughed at me and said that would be hard to do considering he couldn’t even see the spot where he put the shot in. Apparently sympathy is not a skill he acquired during his male nurse moonlighting. Nonetheless, I had him put a bandaid on and kept it on there for a full 24 hours in hopes that I would forget the whole thing ever happened. Which may or may not be the same thing I did after my recent Tetanus shot.

Anyway, we are now in that fun part of the process where we are just waiting, hoping, and praying for a positive outcome. The good news is that this means no ultrasounds for a couple of weeks, and it dramatically decreases the likelihood of me crying in public. The not so great news is that when you are as impatient as I am, being forced to wait and do NOTHING is really the worst kind of torture there is.

So, future baby, if you’re reading this, just know that you are totally going to owe me one day. I just might put together a bill to hand you once you’re old enough to read, and because the emotional and physical toll of this whole process has far exceeded the actual costs, you better believe I’ll be charging interest! But please don’t let that discourage you from existing some time soon, ok? Thanks.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Next thing you know I'm going to come down with dysentery

I’m not sure how blogging became only a weekly thing for me, but I do not like it one bit. I promise to try to do better. Key word being “try.”

Ok first, a little update on the fertility front: I had an appointment last Friday that (surprise!) showed no progress. My Debbie Downer nurse was, as usual, not very reassuring. My favorite part is when I asked her a specific question about the last round of medicine and her response was, “Hmm… that’s unusual, sometimes it just happens…” Thanks. That’s helpful. And PS- I have a degree in SPANISH and I could have answered that question more skillfully. It was not totally unlike the time I took my Jetta in to the dealership because it was having some issues, and after inspecting my car, the service rep’s diagnosis was that one of the car’s problems was “a real head-scratcher.”

Anyway, I went back for another appointment on Monday and it was much more encouraging. Although I did find it amusing when the doctor instructed me (TMI alert) at one point to “relax my uterus.” Um. How does one do such a thing on command? Isn’t this a lot like telling someone to relax his/her spleen? I didn’t dare ask him that, because (a) he said it so matter-of-factly that I thought I might be dumb for not knowing and (b) oh yeah, he is a guy and DOESN’T HAVE A UTERUS. And I didn’t dare ask Debbie Downer nurse either (who was observing), because we all know she would have shrugged her shoulders and told me to ask the magic 8 ball.

If I play my cards right, I get to go back for another appointment tomorrow! For those of you that are keeping track, yes, each appointment still costs $200. We are sort of keeping it a “secret” from the budget for now.

In other medical-related news, I am proud to report that I am now up-to-date on my tetanus shot! Why, you ask? Because of a very unusual incident that occurred inside a department store while I was in Austin over the weekend:

Basically, my mom, sister, and I were walking through the mall when I felt a sharp pain in my foot. I pulled off my shoe to see that a screw was sticking into it and had managed to poke all the way through to my foot. When it started to bleed, my mom asked the nearest sales associate if they had a first aid kit. Well apparently department stores don’t prepare for this kind of thing because their best solution was to give me a bandaid that one of the other sales associates had in her purse. How comforting. And did they have anything I could clean it off with first? Of course not, so I got to use my mom’s hand sanitizer and a used Kleenex from my purse. That’s some top notch medical care right there, wouldn’t you say?

Then we got to wait for someone to come down and write an incident report. And considering the professional response given to my injury, I’m not sure why I was surprised when the “claims report” was hand-written on a piece of scratch paper. I gave them my information and they then asked when my last Tetanus shot was. I looked at my mom for an answer right as she looked at me for an answer, which was a pretty clear indication that it hadn’t happened in the last decade.

So as if I have not been poked and prodded enough lately, I had the pleasure of heading over to a RediClinic after work earlier this week to get my Tetanus shot. Thankfully, the department store's Claims representative called and assured me that they would cover the cost of my shot. When I told my mom about this, she responded, “Well that was nice of them!” until I, always the cynical one, reminded her that they are only doing it so that (a) I won’t sue them (which I would never do over something so stupid, but they don't know that), and (b) it’s cheaper than covering the cost of treating Tetanus!

Regardless, I am now Tetanus-free and do not plan of dying of lock-jaw any time soon. Did I also mention that my RE also recently insisted that I get a blood test to see if I have Rubella? Do these people think I spent a good portion of time on the Oregon Trail or something?

Anyway, I am thankful that it was nothing major and that I don’t have to get another one of those shots for another 10 years, because while it didn’t hurt a bit when I was getting it done, I have spent the last 2 days feeling like someone took a baseball bat to my left shoulder.

And lastly, on a totally unrelated but still very important note, if you missed Brian’s sermon at church on Sunday, you’ll be relieved to know that you can go listen to it online here. Even though he didn’t make (in my opinion) nearly enough references to how awesome his wife is, he still did a great job and made me very proud :) And he’ll be preaching again this Sunday, so be sure to check back next week to listen to that one as well!

ETA: I actually just spoke to the claims guy at the department store and he said that he could either (a) reimburse me for the $20 co-pay for the shot or (b) send me a $50 gift card to the store. I considered it for approximately 1 second and then said that I most definitely wanted the gift card. Can we keep that a secret from the budget as well? :)