For those of you that were curious, I survived my doctor’s appointment yesterday.
"Survived" is really probably the best word I can use to describe it at the moment, because “enjoyed” really would not be fitting.
The doctor was knowledgeable, although I wouldn’t exactly nominate him for the “Most Personable Reproductive Endocrinologist of the Year” award. The appointment went about how I expected it to—not great news, but not bad news. He basically just confirmed that I most likely, just like Allison, have PCOS.
This diagnosis doesn’t really change much in what we will do going forward, but I just thought I would throw it out there for those of you who like to google medical conditions to death.
As I mentioned, the doctor is a male, and while I really have no issue with going to a male doctor, there were certainly a couple of instances during the appointment (which Brian attended with me, by the way) where it was painfully obvious that he does not think like a female.
Instance # 1: I mentioned to him that I had gained some weight since starting the fertility medicine that I had been on (nothing substantial—about 5 pounds), and asked if that was a common side effect. His response? “No, the medicine shouldn’t make you gain weight. A lot of times when people go through stressful situations, they just eat more.”
OH OK. THANK YOU, DOCTOR, THAT MAKES ME FEEL MUCH BETTER.
First of all, I (much like every other female in existence) am fully aware of my eating habits, and having stayed within 2 pounds of the same weight for the past 3 years, I would like to think that I have a pretty good idea of what habits I need to keep in order to maintain my weight. But thank you for making me feel like my weight gain is due to my inability to handle stress without eating my feelings!
Secondly, being that I had to weigh myself with the nurse just 10 minutes prior and had to see a number that was SIX POUNDS higher than when I last weighed myself 2 days before, this was not really the answer I was needing.
And if that wasn't enough, he informed me that 80% of women with PCOS are overweight. He did, thankfully, inform me that I was in the 20% that was not, but still- not helpful, doc.
Would it really have been so hard for him just to blame it on the medicine? I think not.
Instance # 2: Before doing the (internal) ultrasound, he informed me that “this won’t hurt at all.” Fortunately, this ended up being true. But the last time I checked, he has never had one. So I’m thinking it would be best to let the female nurse give that pep talk next time.
I also found it somewhat amusing that the very first thing he said to us after “Nice to meet you” was, “So, do you have any questions for me?” My response? “Umm… yes. Why aren’t we pregnant yet?” He laughed, and so did I to be polite, but seriously- did he think we were in there to ask him just how, exactly, babies are made?
I was also hoping that he would be more impressed with how well-prepared I was for our first appointment. I came with a neatly compiled timeline for him, as well as detailed charts and notes. And I will be honest, I very much expected him to nod approvingly once I handed it over and tell me that he was impressed with how thorough I was. And maybe even give me a gold star or two.
But you know what? He didn’t even ask for it, and didn’t even seem remotely interested when I made sure to flip through it right in his line of vision. I realize that my Chemistry summer school course at Austin Community College does not qualify me to make medical conclusions, but I assumed that it would at least be helpful to add the information to my file. All of you other overachievers out there can probably sympathize with the rejection I felt at that moment. Maybe one day, just to make myself feel better, I will put it in a portfolio to show our first child how much effort was involved with bringing him/her into existence.
And on that note, can I just say how frustrating this whole process is for a person like me who has always had a good amount of success with keeping the whole “if you apply yourself and give it your best effort, it will happen” mindset? It’s as if I have been lied to my whole life! But I realize this is an important lesson for me to learn, because as exasperating as it is to realize that you are completely and totally not in control, it is equally liberating to be reminded that God completely and totally is in control. And we are very thankful for that.
Anyway, thanks for letting me share, and for making it this far into the post. Your prayers and support are greatly appreciated!!