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Wednesday, July 15, 2009

I'm almost certain this post will end up in the next issue of Consumer Reports

Well for those of you that have been wondering, we did successfully pick up our new Dyson last weekend, and we were delighted to find that it was, in fact, a vacuum and not a mattress. I would love to rave about how wonderful and life-changing it has been, but the sad fact is that I have not used it so far.

Brian, however, seemed to be pretty impressed, although not as impressed as I might have preferred considering its cost. But then again, I can understand why a vacuum wouldn’t send him shouting with glee from the rooftops… a new video game or the start of one of his imaginary sports drafts (he loves it when I call them that!) would be far more effective in accomplishing that.

He actually tried to give me a little tutorial on how to use the Dyson (because apparently my feeble female brain can’t figure out how to operate a vacuum without instruction :o), but I am pretty sure he interrupted my facebook-stalking at the time, so you can imagine how short my attention span was. All I remember is him saying something about a wand, at which point I started thinking about princesses and was too distracted to continue listening. Ok I’m kidding, I’m not 4 years old—I went back to thinking about facebook.

Anyway, about 10 minutes into his first go with the Dyson, I heard him turn it off and start groaning in agony. When I (after abandoning facebook for the 2nd time) ran to his rescue, I discovered that he had learned lesson number one with a bag-less vacuum: If you suck up a roach, it will smell like burning, rotting cockroach. Which, in case you have no brain, is disgusting. And all in one fell swoop, my dreams of owning a vacuum that was capable of eliminating my mortal enemy were crushed. Apparently we (Brian) will have to continue killing the roaches ourselves. Bummer.

And that’s really all I have to say today, so if you were expecting more dollar store ranting, I apologize for disappointing you.

1 comment:

Leah said...

haha. what exactly does a burning, rotting cockroach smell like?