I think it’s safe to say that I hit my “prime” in life in 5th grade. That’s right, when I was 10 years old. I don’t mean to say that it’s gone downhill from there, but all I’m saying is that I might not ever be as cool (or perceived as being as cool) as I was that year. Oh to go back to 1993…
I really don’t know if it was the massive glasses I sported, or the short bob hair cut, but I had some kind of magical combo going on that year. I had not one, but TWO boyfriends that year. And I might have had 3 if I had agreed to go to another boy’s football practice after school where he was allegedly planning on asking me to “go” with him. I got to have a solo number in the 5th grade play as Clementine (where potential boyfriend # 3 actually played the role of my father).
My BFF and I nicknamed ourselves “Salt and Pepper” during gym because we were always the first 2 girls picked for basketball. (side note: I later more or less ruined my image as a skilled b-ball player by shooting at the wrong basket during a game against one of our rival elementary schools.) I was a major goodie goodie (as in, made up poems for my teacher for fun during lunch with one of my other over-achieving friends), and as such, won major bonus points with Mrs. Nance. She liked me so much that she even invited me to come help her set up her classroom the following summer. Clearly, I was on top of the world.
And then came 6th grade and my coolness came to a screeching halt. I was attempting to grow out my bangs, and if you’ve ever grown out your bangs, you know it’s not pretty. I wore flower-printed jean shorts (no further explanation necessary). For the better part of the school year, I was still sporting those massive glasses from 5th grade, which had mysteriously ceased being cool. My boyfriend (who was a carry-over boyfriend from 5th grade… I liked keeping things long-term) dumped me on Halloween for a cuter girl who had attended a different elementary school. Ouch.
And if life wasn’t rough enough, my yearbook picture that year was so hideous that even my mom suggested I attend re-takes. The re-take was just as awful, but by a tragic twist of fate, they accidentally put my terrible original picture in next to the name Allison Nelson (my twin sis) and my slightly-less-horrible-but-still-really-unflattering picture next to my name. Sorry about that one, sis.
I have no idea how I survived that year, or how I managed to turn out relatively normal in spite of it. I guess it was God’s way of teaching me humility after my 5th grade peak. What about you? When did YOU peak?